I carry a sketchbook with me because when I am trapped in a stuation where I might become bored, I have my book. It's not that
I feel like drawing all the time. It's more that I just can't sit still. A lot of the time I am tired of drawing I would rather
be doing housework or vacuuming my car. But the book feels good in my lap. I open it and smell its pages. I dig through my purse
to find a pencil. I am drawing. Nothing interesting is happening. The critic in my head is saying 'who wants to see that? This
is child's play. You must get serious about this. Art is serious business.' The little crease in my brow gets deeper.
But then I draw what might be a little girl with devil's horns. She is holding a little dog. He has devil's horns, too. Her
contours are perfect. She is accidental and relaxed; stoic and prim. She is a simple sketch that I will keep because later
in my studio, I will need something to work from. Something to get me started.
My studio is the size of a shoe. But it is a perfect little room to create in. There are canvases stacked on one side of
my desk. They are all empty. But I am driven to work. I am convinced that I will get past the fear, the stomacheache, the
worry butterflies. But I keep working. I am after what is in my guts. What I know the moment before I fall asleep ... that
the second I let go, what comes out of me will be right. What comes out might be funny, it might be disturbing. My business
is to let it out, to pay attention and learn so that I become fluent in my own language.
I don't believe in writer's block. Working, for me, is a process. It is a relationship with myself. It is always growing,
shifting, giving, and taking. It demands that I pay attention to myself and to the world. What other kind of job can
possibly be that for me? None other. Ever.
Juli Adams' Work at RiverSea Gallery
Click on the following thumbnails to see bigger pictures.
Exhibits at RiverSea Gallery
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